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Ive been having a number of issues at home and with Chelsea in particular. I was suggested she pick up an extra day at school. This morning Kathy left to go home, Craig had to go into the office and in my current state i lost it. Craig called Helen to see if Chelsea could get in today, which she could!!

So Chelsea is at school 3 days a week now :)

It will be really good for her i think.

60 Today!

Today is my dads 60th birthday.

Happy Birthday Dad / Pa, we hope you have an awesome day. Cant wait to see you on Friday :)

The silence

Ya know when your talking to some one….and you don’t know what to say?

How often it happens is amazing. Like in a MSN chat, you’re talking away, then the convo stops and you think shit, now what do i say. Or some one says something and you get the whole uneasy feeling and you have no idea if you should answer it or walk away.

Its been happening alot to me lately. The i get the feeling ive said the wrong thing. or ive been mis-understood. Over the net its hard to be ‘heard’ or to get the point across without the other person reading into it to much.

Or IRL, man that silence is even harder!

Who ever thought communication could be so stressful

No real point to this post, but wanted to make note of it :)

Well today i finally got off my arse and decided that i WOULD apply for uni next year. I’ve been umming and ahh’ing the past few weeks and telling myself i cant possibly do uni and have a family.

Until yesterday when a friend asked why i hadn’t submitted it. I simply said cos i hate to fail and what if i got in and couldn’t pass the subjects. Id feel like a failure and let myself down.

Wise man said ‘You’re only a failure if you dont try’….so with that, i applied today.

My application now rests in the hands of Monash University and their decision if i will be doing my Bachelor of Nursing for the next 3 years :)

Finally after 17 long days we have an announcement…..

Julia Gillard is our new PM :)

Today is fathers day, just another day, but being the good wife and mummy, i made an effort and got some presents for the kids to give to Craig.

From Chelsea he got a DVD and she made him a keyring at school. Jasmine gave him a box of white Lindt chocolates. Zachery gave him a book called My Aussie Dad. As a joint present from all of us, he now owns a rice cooker!

A big happy fathers day to Craig, my dad Peter and my FIL Peter, as well as all the daddies to be or daddies that have lost their children!

37 Days

As i sit here typing i reflect on the past 7.5 months. Where i was and where i am now.

Where was i?

I was just finding out our 4th bundle was on her (or maybe it was his, we will never know) way. I was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone. I didn’t however, i ktep my secret safe, well, with a few good friends. A week later we told our parents. Was mixed emotions and reactions. It didn’t bother me, the main thing was Craig and myself were happy our family was going to expand.

We move on a week. We were visiting Kathy, and things started going horribly wrong. I began bleeding, i began freaking and i demanded to be taken to hospital. Not like me at all :(

As it turns out, there was a long waited for bundle growing within, but sadly her little heartbeat was telling another story. A story of loss and sadness. Wednesday 17th February my worst fears were confirmed. I had began bleeding heavily, and around 11am, i knew i had passed our sweet Melanae Lily. Our forever angel. Our sweet little Raindrop….

Where am i now?

Well, had our Raindrop held on, i would now be 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Only 37 days til i should be meeting our new bundle. I wont be though, i never will be.

Instead, our life plans have changed. There will be no more bundles, not for at least 5 yrs at a minimum. Its to personal to blog about, but i know I’m covered til 2015 :)

I still think about my baby daily, i know she is watching down on me, and on our family.

Sleep well beautiful, mummy loves you