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37 Days

As i sit here typing i reflect on the past 7.5 months. Where i was and where i am now.

Where was i?

I was just finding out our 4th bundle was on her (or maybe it was his, we will never know) way. I was over the moon and wanted to tell everyone. I didn’t however, i ktep my secret safe, well, with a few good friends. A week later we told our parents. Was mixed emotions and reactions. It didn’t bother me, the main thing was Craig and myself were happy our family was going to expand.

We move on a week. We were visiting Kathy, and things started going horribly wrong. I began bleeding, i began freaking and i demanded to be taken to hospital. Not like me at all 🙁

As it turns out, there was a long waited for bundle growing within, but sadly her little heartbeat was telling another story. A story of loss and sadness. Wednesday 17th February my worst fears were confirmed. I had began bleeding heavily, and around 11am, i knew i had passed our sweet Melanae Lily. Our forever angel. Our sweet little Raindrop….

Where am i now?

Well, had our Raindrop held on, i would now be 34 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Only 37 days til i should be meeting our new bundle. I wont be though, i never will be.

Instead, our life plans have changed. There will be no more bundles, not for at least 5 yrs at a minimum. Its to personal to blog about, but i know I’m covered til 2015 🙂

I still think about my baby daily, i know she is watching down on me, and on our family.

Sleep well beautiful, mummy loves you